Introduction

I want to remember every step of this journey. My journey to a new life. Well, if not a new life, to a better and more fulfilling life. I'm not vain or superficial, but being fat is not fun. Growing up overweight I tried to make the best of it. I tried to fit in and make friends. My parents did not make it easy by uprooting us every year or two and moving us to a new city. But I did the best that I could. So here I am at 25. I weigh about 300 lbs. The heaviest I have been (that I know of) was 323 lbs. That was back in 2006.

I'll never forget the day that really woke me up. I was boarding an airplane. I sat down at my window seat (because for whatever reason I feel like I have more room there) and barely fit between the armrests. The armrest on my left, closest to the window, was fixed -- it did not move. So I kind of had to wedge my left thigh under the arm rest. The armrest on the right was movable, so I lifted it up, got comfortable and rested the armrest on top of my right thigh. Then came the last step - the seatbelt. It did not fasten. It would not fasten. I tried to wiggle around, suck in...nothing was working. I don't know why I did not just ask for an extender. I guess I was afraid they would march me up to the cockpit to get the extender and everyone would know what was going on. I also don't know how I finally managed to secure myself, but I did hear the magical click and knew I had to do something.

When I returned home from that trip, I joined Weight Watchers. Again. For the 9th time. This was at 23. I did lose about 65 pounds that time. I remember it all came crashing down when I came home to visit my family for thanksgiving. I just did not feel like measuring and counting points. Before I knew it I was back to 300+ lbs. And two years later I am still around 300 lbs.

During my successful run on WW I was very much against weight loss surgery, of all kinds. I thought it was for people who just weren't willing to try, or work, hard enough. I thought it's working for me, anyone can do it. I knew I would never subject myself to surgery even if I had the chance. But then everything reversed itself and I am now in the position of attempting to get approval for lap band surgery.

I don't remember exactly when my attitudes and beliefs changed. Probably close to the time that my dear wife and I decided we were going to try to have a child. I got into gear again, joined not just one gym but two. I got a personal trainer. It was just so much harder this time. I thought that since I had lost so much weight before I would pick up right where I left off. But the prospect of having to do this over and over for the rest of my life -- lose 30 lbs, gain 60 lbs, lose 60 lbs, gain 50 lbs, lose 5 lbs, gain 20 lbs -- was a very discouraging and depressing thought. I did not want to live a life full of these ups and downs.

So around the middle of September I decided for the last time that I had to do something.